Week Two - Through

By the time I went to my counseling appointment on Wednesday I was starting to feel disheartened. I was being very hard on myself because I didn't get the scores I wanted on my next two quizzes. The first one I got 34 out of 35 correct, which was okay, but I thought I knew the material front and back. The second one I got 16 out of 20 correct, which is an 80%. At this school 80% is a C, and that's unacceptable to me. Again, I thought I knew the material.

So I was down on myself, worrying that I wouldn't get an A in all of my classes and just generally feeling bad about school. After talking with my counselor, we decided that I needed to do my best and simply be happy knowing that I did my best and that I finished. Later, I realized that I have a very difficult time finishing things. I guess I have a tendency to give up when perfection is no longer possible. And that's exactly what I wanted to do. Who was I kidding anyway, thinking I could take on something this challenging? I suppose just finishing this program will be an accomplishment in itself, despite my overwhelming need to get perfect grades. Now if I can just get myself feeling okay with less than perfect grades...

To make things worse, the material is getting more challenging. The vocabulary terms are harder, the quizzes come faster, it feels like everything is getting thrown at me at once. Want to hear about a challenge? Friday we learned about the Integumentary System (skin, hair, nails, sweat glands and sebaceous glands). Monday we started learning about the Musculoskeletal System. Tuesday we had a test on the Integumentary System. Wednesday we started on the Cardiovascular System. Thursday we had a test on the Musculoskeletal System. Today we started working on the Blood, Lymphatic and Immune System. Monday we have a test on the Cardiovascular System. Do you see the confusion there? I'm afraid of what the final exam is going to be like.