Peacefuller

The anxiety medicine must have helped because my anxiety has calmed a bit. I'm still different. My nighttime habits might be forever altered. Silly things like being afraid to close my bedroom door at night when I'm in the living room. My heart still pounds when I hear a noise at night that I don't recognize. But overall I'm peacefuller. I don't have to cling to my phone and my pepper spray all night long (though I do still sleep with them in my hands).

This is how it was last time. I couldn't function because of anxiety. I got some medication that helped with the anxiety in the short-term and in the long-term I didn't need the medication anymore. It takes time, I've learned. I won't feel completely safe tomorrow. Actually, I may never feel "completely safe" again. But (hopefully) I'll feel safer tomorrow than I do today and it will continue that way.

The medication helps me sleep at night, but I've also noticed that I'm sleeping a LOT. Last night I slept from 11:30pm until 12:45pm this afternoon! I woke up at 6-something-am, but I went back to sleep. I thought about getting up, but the problem I have (nearly every day) is that I don't have any reason to get up earlier. I tried it for a while, just getting up earlier to be up earlier. Didn't last long. I do want to go to school--aiming for March 29th or May 10th--and that would require getting up WAY earlier than I've been getting up (like 6am-ish). We'll just take that one as it comes, though. I plan to go in to see the financial aid people sometime this week.


Last night I did a new one of these:

This one is for my case manager. I hope she likes it. I'm now making pieces to give away. I already promised one to an online friend and I have a couple other people I'm thinking of making some for. It's fun to make them for other people, especially when I can come up with my own designs and just use colors that they like/want.