Prozac

You know, I think I like Prozac. I have decided that I am not in a manic state. I've calmed down a bit, but I still feel good. I feel content again and almost happy. As I alluded to in my last post, I spent a lot of time depressed. A lot of time. I had my 'okay' moments, but they were few and far between and even during those moments I still had a touch of depression.

October 2008...the last time I was in the hospital. I went because my depression had gotten to the point where I could no longer function right. When I think back a little further I see October 2007...another hospitalization. I went in because my depression had gotten out of control. Between October 2007 and October 2008, I had a lot of depression. It wasn't every moment of every day, but it was close. So, thinking further back, I see that my manic episode started around June 2006 and I was hospitalized for that in October 2006. I had a huge crash after that and had to be put back on an antidepressant and I'm pretty sure that was when I started Remeron. After that crash and even after starting the Remeron, I was pretty depressed. The depression built up between October 2006 and October 2007, then built up even more between October 2007 and October 2008. After my last hospitalization I requested the Wellbutrin. I was on Wellbutrin for over a year when I decided that Wellbutrin worked even less than Remeron. But when I went back on Remeron I remembered why I quit that. Fast forward to July 1, 2010 when I got the Prozac. Counting back, you can see that I had 45 months of depression. Forty-five months. No wonder feeling better made me worry I was manic. I probably did forget what 'better' felt like.