Manic Saturday

Last night I was in a panic. A manic panic. My mind was racing and I couldn't get it to stop! I was bouncing around the house with lots of energy and feeling good. And all I could think was, "Oh no...not again."

I spent a lot of time last night obsessing. That's been a common theme the past few nights--obsessive thoughts. I don't know if obsessive thoughts = mania. I can't remember if that's a symptom or not. But in the end it all amounted to a lot of panic about being manic. I slept terribly because of the obsessive thoughts. I even wondered if I should have taken a Xanax to calm myself down. I opted to try to calm myself down naturally as much as I could.

There has been a lot of reasoning going through my mind. I had lots of energy and couldn't sleep the other night...but I took some medication with pseudoephedrine in it, and that's an upper. Plus I've been sleeping around 9 hours a night still. Problems generally arise when I slip into the 4-5 hour per night range for more than 4 days in a row. I still don't want to wake up early. Mania does not = going to bed at a normal hour and sleeping in. I spent the entire morning cleaning the house today. That's a manic thing to do. But I wasn't doing it with manic energy...I kept a normal pace. I've been having racing thoughts...but that happens a lot and I've also got a lot going on. I had a lot of energy and was pretty happy and talkative in my appointment yesterday...but that happens sometimes when the depression lifts (I think). I've had a couple other symptoms of mania, but they have been fleeting. I mean, it's hard to say if the decreased appetite is, in fact, a side effect of the Prozac or if it's a manic symptom.

Here's what I've decided: I may have a touch of mania. Or I may just be in a better place--a place I forgot about after spending so much time in depression. In the meantime, I'll do my best to take care of myself and try to keep myself out of a mania. I did some reading that suggested basic good self-care: getting an adequate amount of sleep, limiting caffeine (I need to work on limiting my caffeine), keeping a good eating schedule, exercising (harder for me to do in the summer time when it's WAY too hot to go for a walk), and keeping a steady routine (school helps with that). I think if I follow those basic self-care guidelines, I'll be able to stave off a manic episode and hopefully still be happier. Here's hoping!