Time for Improvements

Tuesday I went to the Family Self-Sufficiency (FSS) program briefing. I learned a lot about the program. I think the neatest thing I learned is that the escrow money they give you can be used on anything. The savings match could give me an extra $15,000, but only for a down payment on a home. So I decided that if I get $8,000 or more, I'll use $5,000 toward a down payment on a condo and get the matching $15,000. If I get less than $8,000, I'll probably use that money to move into a larger, nicer apartment and then put the rest of it away for emergency use.
I had to fill out paperwork to get on the waiting list. The last page was a personal goal statement.

The questions to answer:What are your goals for the next 5 years? What are your dreams? What barriers have kept you from fulfilling them? What would you like to get from your 5 years in FSS? How serious are you about achieving your goals?
Here is my answer. (It's kind of long.)

My three main goals for the next 5 years are to achieve mental stability, to complete school in the pharmacy tech program at Pima Medical Institute and to obtain and keep employment, either full or part time as my illness permits.

My dream is to ultimately be working full time and get off all public assistance. I'd also like to buy a condo or live in a larger, nicer apartment someday.
My biggest barrier has been my mental instability and recent hospitalizations. I hope to overcome that through determination, medication and counseling. Another barrier for me is fear of failure. I have never worked full time or even held down a job very long. I am learning about my options if my goals are not met in the way I hope to meet them and that is putting my mind at ease a little and contributing to my motivation to become self-sufficient.

From the FSS program, I would like to learn to be completely self-sufficient. I am motivated to earn and save money, either to buy a condo or to create an emergency fund. I am ready to create a new existence for myself--an existence that is not centered around my disability, but centered instead around my abilities.

I like the last sentence the best. It truly describes how I'm feeling about my hopes, dreams and goals. I always thought being on disability and living in poverty was my lot in life. I thought I'd always be messed up and unable to properly function in society. Maybe I was wrong.