Tuesday

I put it out there...Tuesday, the day I wanted to go home. And Tuesday I got to home. The whole experience was so much better than the last few times I was in the hospital. I went in to get my medication adjusted and that's what happened. The doctor in the hospital was very thorough and willing to listen to my needs. She put me on a new medication. As I said in my journal entry, I wasn't as antsy to get out. I wanted to get out, but for some reason I felt calm and assured that things were going just the way they needed to go.

I was in the hospital for five days. This meant my cats were home alone for five days. The good thing about cats is that they're independent and resilient. So even though they were both locked in the bathroom together (my intention was for the kitten to be in the bathroom and the older at to be in the living room) they were still alive and neither cat was severely maimed by the other. They had plenty of food and water while I was gone, so they weren't hungry or thirsty. The one downfall of having two cats confined to a small space with one small litter box for five days is the mess they leave behind. It was disgusting. I had to mop the floor three times to make sure I got it well-cleaned. I will spare everyone the details of the mess. Suffice it to say, it's going to smell in here for a few more days.

The best part of getting out on a Tuesday is that I can get right back into my weekly routine without having to deal with an empty weekend first. I haven't felt the void I usually feel upon leaving the hospital...the what-do-I-do-with-myself-now feeling. Perhaps it's because I know what I do now. I go to Art Awakenings this morning. I get back to my studio staff position and work on my art work. Tomorrow I go to a follow-up appointment with my psychiatrist and case manager. Friday I go to Art Awakenings again and hopefully have a therapy session. I'll deal with the weekend when it comes. For now I have a few days to readjust.

My mood is so much better than when I entered the hospital. As soon as I saw the hospital psychiatrist I had renewed hope. I was probably the most content person in the hospital. I got what I went in for. I still have sudden urges to cry at times. I think that came from being taken off one of the antidepressants before going into the hospital, as I was feeling that before I went into the hospital. I thought the doctor would have changed the other antidepressant I was on. Instead she added a third mood stabilizer. One of the side effects of this particular medication is a decrease in appetite. This is a great thing for me because one of my other medications makes me excessively hungry all the time. It took a few days, but I noticed yesterday that for once I actually wasn't hungry and didn't have the overwhelming urge to eat. I do still get hungry, but it's not a constant hunger. I'm excited to see if I can start losing weight again.

All in all I feel better, life is great and everything's going my way.