Being Content

I've been spending my time thinking about moving. About living in a new place, a bigger place. I've been dreaming of more room to breathe and a fresh start. I remember when I moved here and when I got housing assistance. I breathed a sigh of relief that I would never have to move again unless I wanted to. Now I want to.

I have three options. One is a roommate situation. At first that was my favorite option, the one I wanted the most. It was perfect. No more dealing with the housing authority, no more rules and regulations on where and how I live (not that how I live is an issue). One less government agency to hold me back. And yet, the more I think about it, the less appealing the roommate situation seems. If the roommate moves on, where does that leave me? It leaves me in the same boat I was in before I got on housing assistance. It leaves me facing homelessness and scrambling for a place to live with nowhere else to go. And what if I stop working? That would cut my income by 1/3 and make it much harder to pay rent.

The second option is to stay on the housing assistance program and move to a new apartment. The place I want to live does accept the housing assistance program and I could move when my lease ends in April. That would be a perfect time to move as all of the college kids will be going home for the summer. The place is bigger and better than where I'm living now and so much more convenient, bus-wise. But their pet policy allows only one cat. I have two. I could ask them to make an exception. And if they don't, then it's on to option three.

Option three is to stay where I'm at, stay on housing assistance, and keep everything the same. I didn't like this option. I'm antsy and want to get out of here. I dread opening my door, due to a neighbor situation. The neighbor situation is getting better, however, as she has more pressing things to deal with now and doesn't have the time to bother me. Then there's the size issue. My place is just so small. Or is it that I have too much stuff? Today I decided to try to be content with where I am and purge myself of un-needed clutter, un-needed furniture, and un-wanted junk. There's so much stuff I've been hanging on to. It's like holding on to a past life. Perhaps I can reinvent my home and make it a home again.

I tell myself that things will work out. They have to, don't they?