The End

It's really over. My blanket is finished and our time together is over. There were times--many times, in fact--that I never wanted this project to end. It was my safe place. She was my safe place. The completion of my blanket signals the end of our therapeutic relationship.

I've found that the blanket has been a metaphor for our time together. The first part of our project was me telling my story, through the pictures on the blanket. She gave me a part of her as she worked on her half. When I finished my "story" I explained what the pictures meant to me. We then took the pieces and, as a team, we started putting the pieces together. Like putting the pieces of my life, of myself, together.

No matter what, I couldn't do any of it alone. I was too scared that I would do something wrong. I needed her with me to put this all together. But toward the end, I realized I didn't have the time left with her to have her hold my hand the whole time and I decided to finish up a small part of it on my own. I was proud of myself for doing some of it by myself successfully. She seemed proud, too.

And together we finished my blanket...basically. I say basically because there's still one more optional step I can do. Another metaphor. I can make the blanket (myself) better, but it's an optional thing I'm left to myself to do. If you're wondering what it is, she told me to use my sewing machine to reinforce the seams. How fitting, the last step is to reinforce what I've done.

It's sad to me that this project is finished. I wasn't ready. I'm still not. But I suppose this is another metaphor. She has taught me what she needed to teach me and helped me piece together what she can help me with and now it's time for me to move on to the next thing.

Perhaps it's time for a new counselor. I'm far from finished working through my issues. But our time together is over. I will probably never get another chance to work with her. Part of me wanted to wait the required two years and work with her again. She didn't seem keen on that idea. Thinking of it again, it seems like it might not be the best plan for me. After all, what do I do with myself for two years while the issues are at the forefront of my life? But then, what do I do now? I don't know.

Here is the finished blanket. Front:
And back:
You can't see it, but the back has monkey faces!