Some Days...

I deserve mad props for getting through yesterday. It was the day from...well...you can use your imagination to finish that sentence. I had to face it; I was manic. And mania is dangerous. The euphoric, on-top-of-the-world, indestructible feelings. They never take me to a good place. It started on Friday and by Monday I knew I had to make a phone call. So I called for an appointment with the nurse. 8am the next day, I showed up for my appointment. But somehow the appointment wasn't in the system. I begged to be seen and luckily the spot was still open. The nurse said I needed some medication adjustments (she can't do that), but my doctor was still on vacation and chances were that no doctor would change my medicine because I had an appointment next week. "So what do I do until then?" It was a good point. So she got my caseworker busy finding me a doctor to see. I waited until 10:30am, when I heard the good news. One of the doctors could see me. But he couldn't see me until 1:30pm. I decided to go home and drop off my Art Awakenings baggage and then return for the appointment. It was a 45-minute bus ride each way. I stopped to get some lunch and headed back to the appointment. I arrived at 1:10pm. Gloria, the best receptionist anyone could ever have the pleasure of knowing, called the doctor and told him I was in. Oh, 1:30? He meant 2:30. You've got to be kidding me. So for an hour and 20 minutes I had to burn off energy walking around the building in circles, causing trouble in the pharmacy, and generally making a nuisance of myself. Waiting when you're manic is nearly impossible. But I made it. I got into the appointment and the guy asked me a few too many personal questions. But I answered them anyway. I have no boundaries. He finally let me go with a prescription for Haldol and Cogentin, with explicit instructions to take them both at the same time so as to avoid serious side effects. Okay, I could do that. Another bus ride and I got to the pharmacy. I love my new pharmacy except that one lady that I always seem to get who is short with me. It's like she doesn't want to be bothered with me. And I try to be extra friendly. It doesn't work. Well I got her again. I'd just seen her the day before. She was super nice to the lady in front of me in line but once I showed up, her whole disposition changed. I don't know why. I'm a fun girl. She asked me when I wanted to pick up the meds. I knew it was busy but I also knew I needed them pronto. So I told her I'd wait. Half an hour, she said. Twenty-five minutes later she calls me up. Very sweetly she says, "I'm sorry, we don't have any Haldol in stock. We'll have some first thing tomorrow morning." I was shocked. After all this, I couldn't get the Haldol. I asked if she had just one. No. So I walked the relatively long walk home and fretted. I tried to calm myself down. Watch a movie--yeah right. Take a bath--not happening. Listen to calming music--didn't help. Finally, I broke down and called the crisis line. I was getting myself into trouble I didn't need to be in. I didn't know how they could help me, but whatever they could do, I needed it. They put me through to my insurance company who said the pharmacy should have told me that I had the option to pick up the Haldol at another pharmacy. Duh. So he called and got that set up for me. While he was doing that, I was looking at the time (10:30pm) and wondering how I was going to get to another pharmacy when the buses were about to stop running. Turns out he made the problem worse. Oh, he got the prescription filled for me. At a pharmacy that wasn't even close to any bus routes, nevermind the fact that they weren't running that late. So now I couldn't even get my Haldol in the morning unless I got it re-transferred to the other pharmacy. What a headache. I told him all this and he seemed more than a little frustrated with me. Hey, it's not my fault the buses don't run out there. So he transferred me back to the crisis line. It was all okay, they said. They could get someone to pick up the medicine for me and bring it to my home. Perfect! So I waited. At 1am they arrived with my medicine. I signed a paper, thanked them profusely, and proceeded to pull out my medicine. One bottle. Only the Haldol. But the doctor emphasized that I was supposed to take it with the Cogentin. I had three options: 1-take the Haldol without the Cogentin and pray that I didn't get the bad side effects, 2-walk to the other pharmacy (which is open 24 hours) and pick up the Cogentin, or 3-not take the Haldol and try to sleep anyway. Luckily at this point I'd finally started to feel sleepy. I took two Benadryl (I was having allergies from being out in the overpowering wind and dust during the day) and laid in bed until I fell asleep. I got about 5 hours of sleep.

Just for your information, today was a better day.